Dear 9/11 Enablers

If anybody is confused about what constitutes satire, this is the opposite of it:

via Gawker

Totally Offensive

I know much of the blogosphere is talking about the horribly offensive New Yorker cover featuring Barack Obama dressed as a Muslim, but I personally would like to talk about another piece of infuriating media that offends my liberal sensibilities:


That's right, Jonathan Swift's 1729 treatise about how the Irish might alleviate their poverty by selling their children for food.

How dare Jonathan Swift perpetuate stereotypes of the Irish as being both poor and delicious! With lines like "A young healthy child well nursed, is, at a year old, a most delicious nourishing and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee, or a ragout" Jonathan swift ignores the plight of Papists everywhere, who have to contend with being objectified as delicious treats, perfect with a good ale, imported from the colonies.

Now, I know the piece is meant as irony and satire, but, beyond being unfunny (in my ever-so-humble opinion) much of our nation still believes that the Irish would make a fine delicacy. And, what's more, because most people outside of our elite liberal arts school have no understanding of subtlety or humor, this essay will only perpetuate these ugly, yet mouthwatering stereotypes of the Irish. So shame on ye, Jonathan Swift, for offending both myself and millions of proud Irish folk with your bilious drivel. You will not get another penny-farthing from me!

Suggested further reading:
Rush Limbaugh was Right @ Salon.com
The New Yorker Draws Fire @ Slate

The Onion makes fun of Michael Bay

Michael Bay '86 has been getting kicked around in the press lately, especially by Gawker for his role in a Verizon ad in which he mocks himself and his penchant for big special effects—and even bigger explosions.

And now The Onion has jumped on board, writing that Bay bought advertising time during the Oscars to show a meticulously produced spot in which he receives a CGI-crafted Oscar for best director:

A leading team of CGI experts hand-selected by blockbuster producer and director Michael Bay has pushed the limits of what can be accomplished with special effects and digital imaging by creating a computer-generated best-director Oscar for the 43-year-old filmmaker.

"Viewers are going to be blown away by how believable-looking we've been able to make Michael Bay accepting the highest award in film appear," said senior technical director Zsolt Krajcsik, who also worked with Bay on the 2003 film Bad Boys II. "The podium, the backdrop, the sense of creative achievement that hangs about him—it's all so vivid and detailed that you'd swear it was real."

I'm sure you missed the commercial, so when The Onion posts the video, I'll be sure to let you know.

Ahhh, Fox News.